Sorry for the lack of blogging. I have been kinda hooked to my PSP lately haven't got into the mood to blog lately due to my pathetically boring life. No kidding. I don't club, shop, bitch or travel as much as any ordinary blogger should in fact my life is basically just about nothing. Okay la imma stop giving excuses and just admit that I am helplessly lazy. sometimes. Don't you just hate it when people deny and give excuses? Me too. But I can't help God created me this way.
Plenty has happened since the last time I blogged and I am glad that nothing much in my life has changed from there. I pretty much gave up on being a "charitable relationship counselor" to them after realizing that it has gotten him/her or better yet them, nowhere despite the length of time given. Wound definitely heals in time but I just thought that one year might be a little too long and even after one year, it still seem like a fresh cut to me.
I mean, really, as a friend, I try to be there as much as I could to provide necessary comfort and advice for your depressed soul and even when I'm not physically there to talk and accompany you until the sunrises, or wait for the both of you to sort things out and trying to salvage whatever there is left to while I patiently sits for 3 hours at the mamak in the middle of the night hoping that the both of you reconcile, despite all those dreadful episodes, I never fail to lend a listening ear.
Until it happened. It happen when you make me talk so much about relationship but you never once listen, instead you chose to go against it knowing that it is wrong and when shit surfaces again and when your wound bleeds again you come crying for me hoping for consolation and then we're back to square one again.
Most importantly, it happen when I'm always there to mend your broken heart while I continue to neglect my untreated wound allowing it to bleed to it's last drop. You make me feel like a loser. A doer with a hypocrite mind.
You think I don't lie? I may not lie when it is unnecessary but that still does not mean that I don't lie do I?
Who doesn't know that moving on is hard? Do you seriously think that I'm so over my past already? Seriously?
You get what I mean? Saying is easy but doing is a whole different story and I am so sick of saying things that sounds right to everyone but wrong to me. You make me feel ashamed of what I said. You make me feel responsible for the things that I said and I don't want to feel responsible for things that I don't meant to say but had to because it was the right thing to say to you.
And what suck most is when you make me say them, make me feel bad for it, and then you deliberately forgets about it the next day while I ramble about the stupid right things that I said.
So stop it. Stop whatever you're doing because you're indirectly mentally tormenting me and leading me into Miseryville everytime you make me question my own ability and everytime you remind me of my past with your story. I can't allow my wound to heal with you constantly reminding me about my past and questioning my own decisions.
I am certain that we can overcome this if we stick with each other and walk together but I need you to pull yourself together and don't let the past continue to haunts you.
Phew. I feel so much better now!
No hard feelings if you do read this I just had to let it out. Nonetheless, I still love you for all the stupid things that we did together during these 15years of our friendship. Just don't intoxicate yourself and make me clean your pukes again. Ew.
Plenty has happened since the last time I blogged and I am glad that nothing much in my life has changed from there. I pretty much gave up on being a "charitable relationship counselor" to them after realizing that it has gotten him/her or better yet them, nowhere despite the length of time given. Wound definitely heals in time but I just thought that one year might be a little too long and even after one year, it still seem like a fresh cut to me.
I mean, really, as a friend, I try to be there as much as I could to provide necessary comfort and advice for your depressed soul and even when I'm not physically there to talk and accompany you until the sunrises, or wait for the both of you to sort things out and trying to salvage whatever there is left to while I patiently sits for 3 hours at the mamak in the middle of the night hoping that the both of you reconcile, despite all those dreadful episodes, I never fail to lend a listening ear.
Until it happened. It happen when you make me talk so much about relationship but you never once listen, instead you chose to go against it knowing that it is wrong and when shit surfaces again and when your wound bleeds again you come crying for me hoping for consolation and then we're back to square one again.
Most importantly, it happen when I'm always there to mend your broken heart while I continue to neglect my untreated wound allowing it to bleed to it's last drop. You make me feel like a loser. A doer with a hypocrite mind.
"You shouldn't lie"
You think I don't lie? I may not lie when it is unnecessary but that still does not mean that I don't lie do I?
"You should move on already"
Who doesn't know that moving on is hard? Do you seriously think that I'm so over my past already? Seriously?
You get what I mean? Saying is easy but doing is a whole different story and I am so sick of saying things that sounds right to everyone but wrong to me. You make me feel ashamed of what I said. You make me feel responsible for the things that I said and I don't want to feel responsible for things that I don't meant to say but had to because it was the right thing to say to you.
And what suck most is when you make me say them, make me feel bad for it, and then you deliberately forgets about it the next day while I ramble about the stupid right things that I said.
So stop it. Stop whatever you're doing because you're indirectly mentally tormenting me and leading me into Miseryville everytime you make me question my own ability and everytime you remind me of my past with your story. I can't allow my wound to heal with you constantly reminding me about my past and questioning my own decisions.
I am certain that we can overcome this if we stick with each other and walk together but I need you to pull yourself together and don't let the past continue to haunts you.
Phew. I feel so much better now!
No hard feelings if you do read this I just had to let it out. Nonetheless, I still love you for all the stupid things that we did together during these 15years of our friendship. Just don't intoxicate yourself and make me clean your pukes again. Ew.
Btw, what do you think of my new bangs?Lotsa loves! ;-*
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