Friday, May 30, 2008

Alcohol does you bad. but we can't help but to love it!

Went to celebrate my early birthday with the girls at Calvin's club. It was Chastity Night and I was dared to go onstage to participate in their stupid games. Eventually, I gave in because....


MJ
: Go laaa, it's (gonna be) your birthday! How often do you get to do crazy stuffs like that huh???! GO~
Rachel : (in mandarin) Chue (go) Ying, chue~ I tell you, very easy one...Just shake left and right can already! Faster~
Grace : * Nag nag nag/ chuckles/ yak yak yak/ laughs X 300times*
ME : *stone* Fuck it.


Predictably, I made myself looked like an idiot by playing the hoola hoop (yes! wtf) and unpredictably, I won a hundred ringgit which supposedly belongs to the real winner, which isn't me :P Why ah? :PPP




The girl who dared others but couldn't even bring herself to the dare, MJ. I still loves you though :)




The one who almost screamed her lungs out cheering for me while maintaining her charisma, Deliciously Rachel.


However, I still couldn't believe that I sold my reputation away for a bloody hundred ringgit WTF.

Sigh



Thursday, May 15, 2008

10 things I shall miss doing

Here's 10 things that I shall miss doing after I'm dead (until I go for my check up and the doctor prove that I'm okay, I'm going to stay pessimistic and stick with the thought that I had contracted some unknown diseases and going to die soon) :




1. I will never get to hang out at Starbucks/Coffeebean/Oldtown or Calvin's happening clubs with all my girlfriends anymore because once I'm dead, I will have to make new friends and starts all over again from a scratch. I kenot bitch freely and be sarcastic in the other ghosts existence because they might boycott me and I don't wanna be a friendless ghost.


One of our usual night out :)



2. I will never get to go catch a movie with mommy/Bryan/Zac/Manda/Princess A anymore and I definitely will miss those time when Bryan offered me his jacket because he knew that his stubborn sister was feeling cold eventhough she kept on denying it (die want face). I will also miss the cute sight of Princess A holding a small size popcorn in her hand while being so focused on the screen, complaining to me every now and then about the guy/girl who makes noise in the cinema.

*heart melts like the ice-cream she's holding*




3. I will never get to do chio tou sei manicure anymore because there is still no O.P.I nail polisher for dead people yet and if Manda is being sweet by burning me those cheap O.P.H , O.P.J , O.P.K...etc made in China one, she still won't know which color I prefer the most. However I think there's a good chance that I'll get alot of black ones.



I personally never like complicated manicure with chunky beads or diamonds on it because it's just too much efforts put into one small thing! Besides, they're annoyingly troublesome (for me). Anyways, nice or not? nice or not? nice or not :D Say nice.





4. I can no longer do groceries shopping and cook for S (which I love doing so much) and share recipes with mommy and Rachel and I will die with limited cooking experiences in my book. I shall missed mommy's na sao choi too :(


Dinner I'd prepared for S to celebrate his first birthday with me this year. This was the first time I have ever cooked any meal for anyone before (not even my own mother! I'm such a mou sam loi). I thought they look delicious despite how they might really taste. No? ;p





5. S will never get to fulfill his promise of bringing me to Melbourne at end of the year and I will never get to see him peeing on the snow like what we had planned. That sucks.




6. No more fishing by the stunningly beautiful seaside anymore :(


Me with my boxfish. It's as hard as a rock you can actually use it to break crab shell. SERIOUSLY.





7. I'm going to missed all my dogs ; Gigi , Poney , Baby , Twinkle and Piranha (mommy gave her that name because she said she's (dog) very tham ciak. My mother cute or not? Luckily she's so smart she did not name her childrens after animal names based on their behaviour otherwise I bet she'll name me Big Foot)





8. I can no longer anticipate the day when PR takes over the government and Khairy, Hishamuddin and Najib turning into a fulltime blogger who blog about the jungle and monkeys. Oh! I also want to see Rosmah blowing up :(











9. No more crazy diets and I will die and roam as a fat ghost. I will turn into a fugly heavily overweight ghost the moment my soul leave my body because I'll have to chew on candles and josticks ALL THE TIME. Super depressing.








10. No more lame, crappy and time-wasting blog anymore. Diu.




My last wish

OMG I THINK I HAVE EITHER BEEN CURSE OR I'M GONNA DIE SOON.



I'm having a serious hair loss problem ( I lose approximately 100-200 strands of hair daily), my scalp is itchy as hell that it's really excruciating and anti-itch shampoo just isn't working!!!!!



48 strands in 10minutes??! 20mins=96 , 30=144 , 40= ...... *turns hysterical*


I think the itch is probably caused by my long nails since I love stroking my hair alot so the kuman-kuman tersepit between my nails could have been indirectly transferred to my scalp hence the itchiness! Sounds logical? or not? Then what am I supposed to do with it? Cut it??


@@





Cut my super chio long nails??? (as you can see, nails like mine that can still look as chio without over-exaggerating manicure with fake studded diamonds and flowers IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY RARE )


Cutting it short would mean the end of my nails fabulosity reign and I will not allow that to happen! Not even if it means that I will die getting serious infection from it!

The most I will do is to turn into a hygiene freak and wash my hand more often and wears glove 24/7. But then cannot flaunt my nails jor lor?? -_-


Other than that, I'm also experiencing a scary weight gain where I easily gained 1kg per day IF I consume more than ONE BLOODY MEAL throughout the whole day and sometimes, after my breakie, I would find myself 2kgs lighter in the afternoon compared to the morning which is ABNORMAL AND IT'S REALLY FREAKING ME OUT okay!!


That's not all, to add insult to injury, I've been developing insomnia and whatever methods that I've tried to coaxed/force myself into sleeping will fail with flying colors wtf.


WORST OF ALL is that my boobs are getting BIGGER they makes me look like a blardy 2nd class porn star and I hate Pamela Anderson which I presumed as bloatedness cuz it hurts when I accidentally ter-touched them! Heck, they even hurt when I shower or when I'M REMOVING MY BRA WTFNIAMAKNNBCCB~



CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND WHY AM I SUFFERING FROM BLOATEDNESS WHEN MY PERIOD IS STILL TWO WEEKS AWAY????? THIS IS FREAKING ABNORMAL~



WHY????!!



MOMMY HELP ME AAAAAAAHHH~



If I ever die before any of you please don't be sad because I think I'll be happier that way eventhough I've never thought of committing suicide to end my fucked up life because I've always believe that no one has the right to end my fucked up life except for mommy, daddy or God. To mommy, remember to drink less coffee, eat less oily foods and watch less Hong Kong dramas because they sucks. Switch to Prison Break or Gossip Girl instead (I doubt if you'll like the latter but trust me, IT'S NICE) and don't worry cuz I will remind S to supply them to you every month FOC and if he dare to forget I will haunt him when he's sleeping, eating, walking, talking and even shitting.


As for daddy, ask him to buy less MKT (can buy but don't bet too big because "got buy got chance, no buy langsung no chance) , smoke less (don't quit because quitting is fatal and we all know that. Just look at porpor! I wish she had never quit :(

Surround Princess A with people who love her and spoilt her with choice (don't start telling me that spoiling is wrong because I don't care since I'm gonna die soon) Let me know if anyone mistreated her so that I can come back, dress haggardly, and starts crawling with my twisted neck accompanied with the "klak klak" sound right in front of these scumbags.


Also, plan more get-together dinner since I won't be able to do so anymore and if Bryan dare to give excuses for not going don't worry, I will haunt and scratch his piano. Encourage Zac to work harder and spend wisely = LESS CLUBBING = SAVE MONEY ON LIQUOR. Lastly, I hope Manda will control her temper and stop being such a brat because she's no longer a baby and SHE'S EFFING 18TH ALREADY GODDAMMIT! She can also have all my clothes AFTER I'm gone altho I doubt if they will fit her perfectly since I'm so fat she's too thin.


I SHALL BE WATCHING OVER EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU :'(

I promise that I will go for a medical check up this week to see how many days/months are there left for me to live and I hope that on the day I die, I will still look pretty with my hair and blossomed boobs attached ( since I won't be feeling the pain of bloatedness anymore and my agonizing days are finally over)



And to S, I will regret and feel terribly sorry if I missed the chance of becoming your wife and the mother to your kids and the grandmother to your kids kids and your kids kids kids greatgrandmother.




However, mourn my death for as long as possible and stay celibate for at least 3months from the day I die and IF you really have to move on ( of course I hope you'll move on :), NEVER, ever take back your that SLUTTY, UNGRATEFUL , BITCHY WITH LOTS OF ALGAE GROWING AROUND HER CHEEBUY EX-GIRLFRIEND because I'd rather you date my sister. UNDERSTAND?? Promise? :)

Goodbye to all my beloved. (I like this picture, please use it for my obituary)


I love you :'(


Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Thoughts.or rantings?

LOOoong OVERDUE Post ahead!


Dated: 29/3

My Aunt Flow visited this afternoon when I was having my long anticipated get-together with the girls at Starbucks. It had me incredibly moody because of the stoopid cramp. The cramp has been unusually long and painful that I had to leave early and stay home just to spend the whole evening curling up and moaning in bed. Ruiner.


Supposedly, we wanted to go elsewhere after Starbucks since it’s only evening by the time we got bored of cock-talking but had to cancelled it since R couldn’t make it last minute because she gotta go home to her king before he turns furious and starts to screw her (verbally, you moron) again. Crap. It seems to me that everyone is so in love with their Mr-I-think-he’s-perfect-altho-my-friends-don’t-think-so.


First, it was Miss R’s King of Greatness who spoil and shower her with gifts but screw her up (verbally and physically, idiot), then Miss A’s Mr I’m-not-a-boy-not-yet-a-man who has btw, turned “wiser” recently! (must mark their anniversary for them lol, Ally will really thank me for this! ) ROFL.. I cannot believe there is still guy who can stay virgin till 19 lo.. like, seriously?! We haha-ed so hard when being told. Unbelievable. *shakes head* Anyways,and then there’s Miss G’s Prince Charming with a huge sense of insecurity, and how can we forget our Miss T with her perfect first love. The oh-so-loving couple that turn all eyes green with envy. Oh btw, we found out recently that they only have sex once/twice the most a month. Ouch.

Sometimes, these very much loved girls of mine, they leave me in disbelief and awe when they share some of their personal problems with me during our day out. It isn’t exactly the kind where they would meet up to complaint or weep but it was more of a stories or secrets that are being shared amongst us- joke wise. No point of sympathy are being beg because we all know that it is going to be just another typical girls day out with lots of gossips and updates. We truly enjoyed every sessions of ours thoroughly.


Truthfully, watching and knowing that everybody goes through this phase of life where argument happens and how accommodating is require in a relationship, it makes me feel normal. Perfections that are being seen are mostly superficial because people like to be portrait as perfect if not….well, perfect. At least I know that I love S despite all his shortcomings and weaknesses, although I have to admit that he can be a real pain in the ass when we fight. Other than that, his endless grumbles and huge ego plus occasional cuckoo-ness is acceptable, I hope. Woo hoo~ Perfect.



Moving on, I brought mommy and Princess A for a movie on the other night. Watched Water Horse eventhough I’ve already watched it with S on pirated DVD. Hehe. We were actually deciding between Horton Hears A Who and Water Horse so we thought we would just let Princess A to decide since the movie was planned for her. Excitedly, she pointed to this one local Malay movie titled “Cicakman” which she had watched on DVD for over a hundred times and which has fortunately, no longer showing. Me, mommy and a few more staffs on duty couldn’t stop laughing when she kept pointing to the poster and shouted “Cicakman!” happily whilst running back and forth from us. Super cute 


Finally, after much of coaxing and explaining she decided on the latter. Phew. Honestly, I would actually love to watch Horton but the fear of risking for another infant movie was so terrifying that I gave up hesitating altogether. The only cartoon that I remembered enjoyed watching was Finding Nemo and The Incredible. I especially love The Incredible because I’m obsessed with man who wears tight stretchable body hugging costume. or their underwear outside :D. So sexy. Kidding. Actually, I love movies involving ordinary people with gifted power trying to save the world from destruction like,




Superman (underwear outside)









Spiderman(tight :D)











Batman (WOHOO~)






X-men (leather is so smexy!)







Heroes (no thread of sexiness except for Ali Larter -_- Love it nonetheless)




and a few more. They keep me wondering if there is really people with extraordinary power out there in this big wide world and these silly thoughts are what keeps me going during those challenging times. I take willpower as a blessing from God, because one’s willpower determines how far they reach in life. A person is incomplete without this character because it plays an important role in building his life. Cow. I’m talking like a philosopher. Shut up Adele….shut up.


Anyways, the movie was okay and I would really love to rate it 7/10 but since the ending sucks, I would reduce it to 6/10. Seriously, I hate movies with gigantic creature in it because eleven out of ten times, the ending are predictable with either they (creature) are forced to go into hiding and never to show their face again or they die getting killed by human NO MATTER HOW CUTE (optional) OR INNOCENT THEY WERE.


A few to be name is Godzilla, King Kong, and the latest, Water Horse. If you’re lucky enough, like WH, you’re only forced into hiding otherwise, you ended up ham ka chan where not only you have to die, but your whole family too (poor Godzilla case). Some might say that Godzilla deserved to be killed? Maybe, because his/her kids are ripping people apart but make no mistake because in the first place, they confused those fellow with fishes because of the fishy smell.


Given a situation, lets say you’re a vegetarian and your friend offered you food when you’re hungry which he claim to be vegetarian chicken although it is not, you wouldn’t suspect anything right? since he’s your friend? and you’re hungry. Orang yang tidak tahu tiday berdosa right? So, same for the poor baby Godzilla lo, which is btw doesn’t really make sense lo. I bet they wouldn’t bite if they were being released to the street since there isn’t anymore fishy smell right? I mean they only eat fish mah…No? Whatever. Not bother to debate about something that had not happen also.


Next is the one that really pissed me to the core, King Kong. First, they brought him into the city from his habitat just to make money out of him by tying him up and showcasing him. And then they gotta kill him because he climb too high? Or was it because he poses threat to the people by being protective to the one that he loved? Why can’t they just release him back to the jungle and leave him alone ? Never die cannot meh?? Simply doesn’t make sense lo. Stoopid. Seriously, I watched this movie until so tulan and I got so overwhelmed that I almost cried wtf. I don’t care if you kill a giant crocodile/anaconda/ant if they are aggressive in fact, by all means, go ahead. But why King Kong?? Emo. Stoopid director so good at intriguing people’s emotion and hitting the box office. I’m gonna boycott all similar movies from today onward and convince my friends to buy pirated or even online download it instead. Benci.

Btw,here's a picture I've found while googling for Superman :

I don't know about you but if my daugher dress like this I'm gonna give her a really tight slap on her face (and boobs) before dragging her to the surgeon to get her implants remove and finally disowning her by selling her to Thailand to finish her off. Apa nak jadi with people nowadays?? *shakes head*


I’m grumpy when I’m angry and when I'm angry I'm hungry~ Gotta go kill my hunger first. Knn.