A friendship post

Sorry for the lack of blogging. I have been kinda hooked to my PSP lately haven't got into the mood to blog lately due to my pathetically boring life. No kidding. I don't club, shop, bitch or travel as much as any ordinary blogger should in fact my life is basically just about nothing. Okay la imma stop giving excuses and just admit that I am helplessly lazy. sometimes. Don't you just hate it when people deny and give excuses? Me too. But I can't help God created me this way.

Plenty has happened since the last time I blogged and I am glad that nothing much in my life has changed from there. I pretty much gave up on being a "charitable relationship counselor" to them after realizing that it has gotten him/her or better yet them, nowhere despite the length of time given. Wound definitely heals in time but I just thought that one year might be a little too long and even after one year, it still seem like a fresh cut to me.

I mean, really, as a friend, I try to be there as much as I could to provide necessary comfort and advice for your depressed soul and even when I'm not physically there to talk and accompany you until the sunrises, or wait for the both of you to sort things out and trying to salvage whatever there is left to while I patiently sits for 3 hours at the mamak in the middle of the night hoping that the both of you reconcile, despite all those dreadful episodes, I never fail to lend a listening ear.

Until it happened. It happen when you make me talk so much about relationship but you never once listen, instead you chose to go against it knowing that it is wrong and when shit surfaces again and when your wound bleeds again you come crying for me hoping for consolation and then we're back to square one again.

Most importantly, it happen when I'm always there to mend your broken heart while I continue to neglect my untreated wound allowing it to bleed to it's last drop. You make me feel like a loser. A doer with a hypocrite mind.

"You shouldn't lie"

You think I don't lie? I may not lie when it is unnecessary but that still does not mean that I don't lie do I?

"You should move on already"

Who doesn't know that moving on is hard? Do you seriously think that I'm so over my past already? Seriously?


You get what I mean? Saying is easy but doing is a whole different story and I am so sick of saying things that sounds right to everyone but wrong to me. You make me feel ashamed of what I said. You make me feel responsible for the things that I said and I don't want to feel responsible for things that I don't meant to say but had to because it was the right thing to say to you.

And what suck most is when you make me say them, make me feel bad for it, and then you deliberately forgets about it the next day while I ramble about the stupid right things that I said.

So stop it. Stop whatever you're doing because you're indirectly mentally tormenting me and leading me into Miseryville everytime you make me question my own ability and everytime you remind me of my past with your story. I can't allow my wound to heal with you constantly reminding me about my past and questioning my own decisions.

I am certain that we can overcome this if we stick with each other and walk together but I need you to pull yourself together and don't let the past continue to haunts you.

Phew. I feel so much better now!


No hard feelings if you do read this I just had to let it out. Nonetheless, I still love you for all the stupid things that we did together during these 15years of our friendship. Just don't intoxicate yourself and make me clean your pukes again. Ew.

Btw, what do you think of my new bangs?


Lotsa loves! ;-*

10 things I shall miss doing

Here's 10 things that I shall miss doing after I'm dead (until I go for my check up and the doctor prove that I'm okay, I'm going to stay pessimistic and stick with the thought that I had contracted some unknown diseases and going to die soon) :

1. I will never get to hang out at Starbucks/Coffeebean/Oldtown or Calvin's happening clubs with all my girlfriends anymore because once I'm dead, I will have to make new friends and starts all over again from a scratch. I kenot bitch freely and be sarcastic in the other ghosts existence because they might boycott me and I don't wanna be a friendless ghost.

One of our usual night out :)



2. I will never get to go catch a movie with mommy/Bryan/Zac/Manda/Princess A anymore and I definitely will miss those time when Bryan offered me his jacket because he knew that his stubborn sister was feeling cold eventhough she kept on denying it (die want face). I will also miss the cute sight of Princess A holding a small size popcorn in her hand while being so focused on the screen, complaining to me every now and then about the guy/girl who makes noise in the cinema.

*heart melts like the ice-cream she's holding*

3. I will never get to do chio tou sei manicure anymore because there is still no O.P.I nail polisher for dead people yet and if Manda is being sweet by burning me those cheap O.P.H , O.P.J , O.P.K...etc made in China one, she still won't know which color I prefer the most. However I think there's a good chance that I'll get alot of black ones.

I personally never like complicated manicure with chunky beads or diamonds on it because it's just too much efforts put into one small thing! Besides, they're annoyingly troublesome (for me). Anyways, nice or not? nice or not? nice or not :D Say nice.

4. I can no longer do groceries shopping and cook for S (which I love doing so much) and share recipes with mommy and Rachel and I will die with limited cooking experiences in my book. I shall missed mommy's na sao choi too :(

Dinner I'd prepared for S to celebrate his first birthday with me this year. This was the first time I have ever cooked any meal for anyone before (not even my own mother! I'm such a mou sam loi). I thought they look delicious despite how they might really taste. No? ;p

5. S will never get to fulfill his promise of bringing me to Melbourne at end of the year and I will never get to see him peeing on the snow like what we had planned. That sucks.




6. No more fishing by the stunningly beautiful seaside anymore :(

Me with my boxfish. It's as hard as a rock you can actually use it to break crab shell. SERIOUSLY.

7. I'm going to missed all my dogs ; Gigi , Poney , Baby , Twinkle and Piranha (mommy gave her that name because she said she's (dog) very tham ciak. My mother cute or not? Luckily she's so smart she did not name her childrens after animal names based on their behaviour otherwise I bet she'll name me Big Foot)

8. I can no longer anticipate the day when PR takes over the government and Khairy, Hishamuddin and Najib turning into a fulltime blogger who blog about the jungle and monkeys. Oh! I also want to see Rosmah blowing up :(

9. No more crazy diets and I will die and roam as a fat ghost. I will turn into a fugly heavily overweight ghost the moment my soul leave my body because I'll have to chew on candles and josticks ALL THE TIME. Super depressing.








10. No more lame, crappy and time-wasting blog anymore. Diu.

My last wish

OMG I THINK I HAVE EITHER BEEN CURSE OR I'M GONNA DIE SOON.

I'm having a serious hair loss problem ( I lose approximately 100-200 strands of hair daily), my scalp is itchy as hell that it's really excruciating and anti-itch shampoo just isn't working!!!!!

48 strands in 10minutes??! 20mins=96 , 30=144 , 40= ...... *turns hysterical*


I think the itch is probably caused by my long nails since I love stroking my hair alot so the kuman-kuman tersepit between my nails could have been indirectly transferred to my scalp hence the itchiness! Sounds logical? or not? Then what am I supposed to do with it? Cut it??

@@

Cut my super chio long nails??? (as you can see, nails like mine that can still look as chio without over-exaggerating manicure with fake studded diamonds and flowers IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY RARE )

Cutting it short would mean the end of my nails fabulosity reign and I will not allow that to happen! Not even if it means that I will die getting serious infection from it!

The most I will do is to turn into a hygiene freak and wash my hand more often and wears glove 24/7. But then cannot flaunt my nails jor lor?? -_-

Other than that, I'm also experiencing a scary weight gain where I easily gained 1kg per day IF I consume more than ONE BLOODY MEAL throughout the whole day and sometimes, after my breakie, I would find myself 2kgs lighter in the afternoon compared to the morning which is ABNORMAL AND IT'S REALLY FREAKING ME OUT okay!!


That's not all, to add insult to injury, I've been developing insomnia and whatever methods that I've tried to coaxed/force myself into sleeping will fail with flying colors wtf.

WORST OF ALL is that my boobs are getting BIGGER they makes me look like a blardy 2nd class porn star and I hate Pamela Anderson which I presumed as bloatedness cuz it hurts when I accidentally ter-touched them! Heck, they even hurt when I shower or when I'M REMOVING MY BRA WTFNIAMAKNNBCCB~



CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND WHY AM I SUFFERING FROM BLOATEDNESS WHEN MY PERIOD IS STILL TWO WEEKS AWAY????? THIS IS FREAKING ABNORMAL~



WHY????!!

MOMMY HELP ME AAAAAAAHHH~

If I ever die before any of you please don't be sad because I think I'll be happier that way eventhough I've never thought of committing suicide to end my fucked up life because I've always believe that no one has the right to end my fucked up life except for mommy, daddy or God. To mommy, remember to drink less coffee, eat less oily foods and watch less Hong Kong dramas because they sucks. Switch to Prison Break or Gossip Girl instead (I doubt if you'll like the latter but trust me, IT'S NICE) and don't worry cuz I will remind S to supply them to you every month FOC and if he dare to forget I will haunt him when he's sleeping, eating, walking, talking and even shitting.


As for daddy, ask him to buy less MKT (can buy but don't bet too big because "got buy got chance, no buy langsung no chance) , smoke less (don't quit because quitting is fatal and we all know that. Just look at porpor! I wish she had never quit :(

Surround Princess A with people who love her and spoilt her with choice (don't start telling me that spoiling is wrong because I don't care since I'm gonna die soon) Let me know if anyone mistreated her so that I can come back, dress haggardly, and starts crawling with my twisted neck accompanied with the "klak klak" sound right in front of these scumbags.


Also, plan more get-together dinner since I won't be able to do so anymore and if Bryan dare to give excuses for not going don't worry, I will haunt and scratch his piano. Encourage Zac to work harder and spend wisely = LESS CLUBBING = SAVE MONEY ON LIQUOR. Lastly, I hope Manda will control her temper and stop being such a brat because she's no longer a baby and SHE'S EFFING 18TH ALREADY GODDAMMIT! She can also have all my clothes AFTER I'm gone altho I doubt if they will fit her perfectly since I'm so fat she's too thin.


I SHALL BE WATCHING OVER EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU :'(

I promise that I will go for a medical check up this week to see how many days/months are there left for me to live and I hope that on the day I die, I will still look pretty with my hair and blossomed boobs attached ( since I won't be feeling the pain of bloatedness anymore and my agonizing days are finally over)



And to S, I will regret and feel terribly sorry if I missed the chance of becoming your wife and the mother to your kids and the grandmother to your kids kids and your kids kids kids greatgrandmother.

However, mourn my death for as long as possible and stay celibate for at least 3months from the day I die and IF you really have to move on ( of course I hope you'll move on :), NEVER, ever take back your that SLUTTY, UNGRATEFUL , BITCHY WITH LOTS OF ALGAE GROWING AROUND HER CHEEBUY EX-GIRLFRIEND because I'd rather you date my sister. UNDERSTAND?? Promise? :)

Goodbye to all my beloved. (I like this picture, please use it for my obituary)

I love you :'(

Too soon

My mind went blank all of the sudden. I don't know if I should start speculating now or to wait for confirmation but I am definitely unprepared for this now. So unexpected and surreal if it's true, but I better not start freaking out too early in case it turn out to be a false alarm or misunderstanding.

Unknowingly, what should I do or say if it's true?

I'm speechless.

*Updates*

OMG I'm pregnant wtfholymothertheresa! Kidding la. :) It turned out to be a really lame punya joke that stupid S has pulled on me wtf. He attempted to make me feel sorry by telling me that "grandma has left us already" in a very solemned voice and I did believe okay wtf. Then it turned out that he actually meant that she (grandma) has moved out to stay with his uncle/grandma's son. I kpkb when he explained to me while he seemed to be so amused with my stupidity wtf. Lame. Sometimes it really amazes me of how my imagination can overworked and drag me beyond normalcy.

Then I totally pissed when people laugh at me for being so gullible or (I hate to use this word) ...dumb. Hey please lor, if I'm dumb for believing you then you're despicable because you're not trustworthy :P

Well, least to say, I prefer being dumb than despicable lo :)

p/s: Btw, *touchwood* for the pregnant part. Cringe.